I looked at him, and I’d never seen anyone so breathtakingly beautiful in my life. Would he want to be with me if I was closeted? Was it rude to even suggest such a half-assed deal? What if it screwed up our friendship?ĭid he want me as much as I wanted him? ’Cause I did want him. No matter what angle I tried to approach it from, there were all these pointy bits that looked dangerous. It was like the potential thing between us was a polyhedron in shape. I knew what I wanted, but it was complicated. I don’t think that word means what you think it means. But now that we were together, there was a tension between us that was almost unbearable. We’d been spending so much time together, it felt unnatural being apart. I grabbed the top of the railing and twisted my hands around it, just to keep from reaching out for him. Landon’s gaze kept meeting mine, then he’d look away again, then he’d look back into my eyes. You don’t realize how many idioms have to do with guns or being shot until you’ve, well, been shot. Only I didn’t understand that the horror at Jefferson Waller High wasn’t over.

And if I can get the man of my dreams and save the world at the same time? I’ll take it. I want to demand action on gun control, lead protests, raise my fist. But what I saw at school that day woke me up. He still needed me, and soon we were unlikely besties.

When he survived and came back to school, he was broken in body and mind.

His request surprised me, but I figured he needed comfort, so I kissed him on the forehead. When I came across Brian Marshall,the hottest guy in school, dying on the cafeteria floor, I did what anyone would do. Only how can I move on when the two shooters who attacked our school were never caught? And why do I feel like I’m still in the crosshairs? But here’s the thing about losing it all: You get a chance to start over and be someone new. Can’t even stand to be in a room with the curtains open. He came out a few years ago, proud and fierce, and he ran into gunfire to help others. I told myself it didn’t matter no one knew the real me. I had everything-school quarterback, popular with girls, and my dad was proud of me. Audio Tour, Excerpt & Giveaway: Boy Shattered by Eli Easton